Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

So here I am, writing my first "blog" post (or whatever the hell you call it). Surprisingly, I don't feel uncomfortable revealing my not-so-secret secrets to those few individuals who care to read this little spec floating around the darkest recesses of the World Wide Web.

For those of you who care to know, I am in the process of eating alive the few people who are unlucky enough to be in my presence due to what is known to mankind as PMS. Fortunately, I've simultaneously been cursed with the burden that is a creative spark. Instead of lying around begging the free world and anyone else in earshot for any and all of the chocolate produced within the last six months, I'm attempting to write a horror/thriller/mystery screenplay. Yes, there will be terrifying undead creatures, yes, there will be bloodshed, yes ,there will be seances, yes, there will be awesome music (mostly Android Lust {Google her}), yes, there will be Voodoo Queens, yes, there will be your stereotypical Goth chick and a random lesbian (myself, of course). I'm going to need a great deal of help making this dream a reality, but I am absolutely determined to get this off the ground.

I recently vowed to be at the Golden Globes within the next five years, and I truly believe that this project may be the key to the door that unlocks that path.

I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a new volume of my own personal saga. Hopefully this one won't be entitled, "Hell: The Last Stand," but instead may be a prologue to something wonderful that I can share with the whole world.